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We know from our
many school visits and research that Facebook, second
only to YouTube, is the most popular site for our
children, ages 12 - 18. Recent changes on Facebook
have made our children's accounts more public than ever,
and they still don't realize their lack of privacy or
the fact that they are developing an "online reputation"
for which they will be judged. Here are several
links of interest related to Facebook and
privacy.
10
Reasons To Delete Your Facebook Account
[May 3,
2010]
Facebook's Eroding Privacy Policy: A
Timeline
[April 28, 2010]
Facebook privacy changes: Five
can't-miss facts
[April 23, 2010]
New
Facebook buttons don't 'like' privacy
[May 2,
2010]
Online Privacy And Why It's
Important
[January 23, 2010]
Permanently Delete Your Facebook Account
[How-To]
[Nov 10, 2009]
Report: Online privacy important to
young people
[April 15, 2010]
Solve your Facebook privacy problem in
under a minute
[May 13, 2010]
Want
Privacy? On Facebook? Shut Up!
[May 12, 2010]
How
to put Facebook on a privacy lockdown
[May 11,
2010]
How
To Prevent & Remove Facebook Malware or
Virus
[Feb. 10,
2010]
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Empowering
Parents / Setting
Limits
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There are many
resources for parents online. Unfortunately, many
websites are bogged down with advertising and contain
little advice. Here are a few of the better gems
on the topic of empowering parents and setting limits
amongst the tinsel.
Empowering Parents: The Website for
Effective Parenting
Raising Children of Character: 10 Tips
For Parenting
Empowering Parents: Technology and
Kids
Parenting Advice from
FamilyEducation.com
Universal Laws for Teens from
HealthyBoundaries.com
Setting Limits for Your
Children
As always, we need to keep our sense
of humor! This video titled "Etiquette and the Electric Friendship
Generator" ought to
help.
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About Children
Online
|
Children Online offers
innovative and comprehensive workshops on Internet
safety and online education to students, parents,
faculty and administrators. Our approach,
unique in the field of Internet safety, combines a
thorough understanding of Internet technologies, child
development and counseling, to focus on the impact of
the internet on the social, emotional and language
development of young people.
Doug Fodeman and Marje
Monroe, experts in technology, counseling and education,
work together to provide invaluable research and tools
for parents and schools with practical real-life
solutions to the issues faced by young people
online. Since 1997, Marje and Doug have spoken to
thousands of students, teachers and parents.
They have several publications in the area of Internet
safety and offer a free online newsletter. More
detailed information can be found at
ChildrenOnline.org.
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© Children Online 2010
Doug
Fodeman & Marje Monroe.
For permission to reprint
please contact
DougF@ChildrenOnline.org
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36th
Edition of the Children Online Newsletter.
This edition of
our newsletter marks the end of our third year of
newsletters. It has been quite a journey.
The Internet changes so quickly, as does
childrens' use of it. For example, ChatRoulette
and FormSpring didn't exist even six months ago.
Now both sites have "gone viral" with kids and
neither site is a safe or appropriate place for our
children. We recently joked that FormSpring ought
to be re-named "MeanSpring" due to the mean and
harassing anonymous comments that kids routinely post to
each other. And, as is always the case, there are
now several ChatRoulette and FormSpring
wannabes.
In the month prior to this newsletter
edition we welcomed another two hundred members, mostly
parents. With more than a thousand readers from
more than a dozen countries, we thought we would devote
this issue to the words and phrases parents everywhere
hear from their children about our efforts to put
structure and boundaries around their Internet use.
Parenting today is very hard work, especially
since most of us are not "digital natives" like our
children. We didn't grow up with these
technologies and often don't have the frame of reference
for parenting like we do with so many other issues that
concern us.
As always, we welcome your comments
and suggestions. Our telephone number for Children
Online is 413-214-1225.
Best wishes,
Marje Monroe and Doug
Fodeman
Contact Marje or Doug via
email at marjem@childrenonline.org or
dougf@childrenonline.org for information about our
programs or consulting services.
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Demystifying
the Internet and Empowering Parents
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"It's none of your
business", " You don't trust me", "I know what I am
doing", "This is my world." "You are going to ruin
my life. My social life is over."
It can be
a frustrating and difficult experience trying to place
limits on the technology use of our children. As
children, we grew up with a template on how to
parent. We watched our own parents navigate our
world of cars, dating and alcohol. That template
however didn't include the Internet, cell phones or
Social Networking sites. Without the past to use
as a guide, it can seem so much trickier to put
boundaries in place for our own children. It is
easy to defer to the worry of our kids over the impact
of the technology in their lives.
However, It is not
a question of if, but when our kids will be exposed to
material they are not developmentally ready
for. Whether it is through emails, instant
messaging or social networking sites, children and teens
may be exposed to bullying, inappropriate material,
meanness, malware, or marketing
scams.
Children and teens often react with
anger when adults try to reign in their Internet
use. However, in most cases, the kids are not
aware of the issues online and parents may not have the
tools to provide counter arguments. We thought we
would demystify the words our kids use to have more
freedom online.
"It's none of your
business." In fact it is your
business. When using the Internet, especially chat
rooms, instant messaging or social networking sites,
kids have made what they say and do online very
public. In fact, with hundreds of "buddies" on
Facebook or in Instant Messaging, kids have potentially
shared their "private" information with many thousands
of people, even strangers. In addition, anyone with a
Facebook account now has a great deal of their content
exposed and available to others due to the recent
changes (Dec. 2009 and May 2010) Facebook made to their
privacy settings and terms of service.
"You don't trust
me." Trust is a word that is misused
today. By using Facebook or other social
networking sites, our kids are putting their trust in
their "virtual" friends who are in fact strangers or
acquaintances. Strangers online should not be
trusted and tweens and teens may not be protecting
themselves well. We must also remember that often-times,
it isn't about trusting your child but about trusting
their naïve, inexperienced or risky online
behavior.
"I know
what I am doing." Your child may know what they
are doing with technology and may be adept at navigating
the Internet, but they don't know all the risks they
face online. In fact, they face some serious
risks. Just a few examples include the often
fraudulent marketing that litters kids gaming sites, the
relinquishment of ownership over any words or pictures
posted online, and the risks of fake "buddies" trying to
contact kids to pry personal information out of
them.
"This is my
World." The Internet is actually a
very commercial and adult world. While many sites
look appealing to kids and are lots of fun, they in are,
in fact, filled with adult content and language.
The risks posed in social networking sites require a
great deal of judgment, patience and common sense.
Children and teens may not be ready to handle those
decisions. Their impulsivity also often leads many
to make poor decisions.
"You are going to ruin my
life. My social life is over."
This argument often worries parents. We
don't want to be responsible for causing social or
emotional harm to our kids. We don't want them to be "on
the outside" of their social group. However, the
immediate tangible worry for our kids is very
real. As kids they are not aware of the real risks
they face online and in the world of virtual
relationships. They continue to need our guidance,
experience, love and decision-making skills to help them
grow up at a healthy, developmentally appropriate pace
in line with our family values.
Often the fear of losing
Facebook can mean real life consequences such as not
getting posts about sports or club announcements.
We recommend calling schools, coaches or organizations
to ask for updates through email and not through
Facebook.
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INTERNET
SAFETY CURRICULUM
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Safe Practices for
Life Online
Children Online has a
curriculum on Internet Safety that includes nearly 100
student exercises and lots of information on many topics
including social networks, instant messaging,
cyberbullying, online marketing, scams directed at kids,
protecting privacy online, avoiding identity theft and
impersonation, creating strong passwords and
more.
 There is also a student
edition which includes cartoons and "Did you know"
sections of interesting facts for students.
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